In a perfect world this question would never be asked. But we don't live in a perfect world. We know that any relationship needs trust and honesty, but a CD has a secret that isn't easy to explain. Many CD's don't completely understand themselves. They hope love will overcome their need to wear your clothes. No CD wants to keep this part of their lives away from their partner. Remember, most CD's grew up with society telling everyone this is not normal. CD's are gay! There is a major problem! If a CD could they would stop. Many CD's do stop but eventually their needs come back. No one wants to be different.
A few of us were lucky enough to find out that our partner is a CD very early in our relationship, and our relationships were started on a firm foundation. Some of us found woman's clothes and thought there was another woman. Others caught their partners fully dressed en femme. A few of us were just told after many years together that our partner is a CD. We all reacted differently. I accepted Kim and feel I am lucky to have two people in my life. But for some it is hard to accept. We all have or had the same questions!
Being hit with a baseball bat might have been easier to accept that having the person you love sit there and tell you they wear woman's clothes and make-up!!!!! That person is still the same person you fell in love with! He enjoys shopping with you and is helpful picking out your clothes. He has a gentle way about himself. He is that person you fell in love with!
But! What if the family finds out? How could I explain this to my friends? Is he gay? Is he going to want to have a sex change? Is he going to go out dressed like a woman? How could this happen to ME? Is this the man I fell in love with?
This man you fell in love with is still the same person either in a pair of jeans or a pair of heels. No one has to know except the people you want to know. You know he isn't gay. Most CD's don't want a sex change. They enjoy being male as well as being female.
Communications is the important factor needed to make any partnership work. Working together to understand each other's needs. At first this can look like an impossible situation. But remember this is the person you fell in love with! Both of you can keep this relationship together if you work at it. You give a little and he will give a little.
In my case, once I met Kim and asked all those questions I found out that Ken and Kim were much happier than they had ever been before. There were no more secrets. That thousand pound weight was lifted off Ken/Kim. I go shopping and to dinner with Ken and have been out with Kim shopping and to dinner too! This is the person I fell in love with!
This other part of your partner has always been there, but you just never saw her dressed. This is the same person you fell in love with.
This newsletter is a labor of love for of our contributing editrixes.
Please join the staff by submitting your own insights into the world of cross-dressing.
Send your input to:
Rachel Boyd, or R.R. Boyd, P.O. Box 2252, Ashburn, VA 20146-9152.
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Updated: 05/08/04
