Are you a CD who is fairly comfortable with yourself, and have you developed your crossdressed presentation so you "pass" or at least "blend in"? Do you go out crossdressed when you get the opportunity? If your answer to both questions is yes, you probably have gotten help along the way from someone else. Why don't you consider how you can help someone? Who do you know that is still having a problem becoming comfortable with her feminine persona or is afraid to leave home dressed? Have you considered how you might help such a person?
The first step is to offer to help. If she is having problems with her makeup, perhaps you could help her learn to apply make up better. If she is concerned about finding a flattering wig, perhaps you could take her to your favorite wig store where she can try on different styles and hair colors in a safe and comfortable environment. If she is having a problem with her wardrobe, perhaps you could give her the benefit of what you have learned during the process of acquiring your wardrobe.
What I am suggesting is that you seriously consider becoming a big sister, and most importantly a good friend. Women help each other to learn. Why not CD's? A person does not have to be heavy handed to help another person obtain a better appearance. Suggestions made with kindness and consideration go a long way toward helping someone else gain confidence in their appearance and demeanor.
So what do you do if your work schedule is such that you don't have the time available to mentor a struggling sister, or you feel this is something you really can't do? You can still give others the benefit of your experience by writing articles for your local chapter newsletter. Let others know about your road of discovery, and the lessons that you have learned along the way. Writing can be good therapy, and it is a great way to gain more insight into oneself.
In addition to reaching out to others like yourself, you might want to consider reaching out to others outside of the community. For example, gender therapists are often looking for people to accompany them to medical schools, psychology and sociology classes, and other discussion groups. They usually are looking for CDs to come forth and discuss how you managed to get to your own comfort zone. It is surprising how much you can learn from others on these panels as well the insight you can gain from having to form your own answers to questions you may not have previously considered.
Perhaps you have another idea for reaching out either within or beyond the transgender community. Take action, reach out to help.
This newsletter is a labor of love for of our contributing editrixes.
Please join the staff by submitting your own insights into the world of cross-dressing.
Send your input to:
Rachel Boyd, or R.R. Boyd, P.O. Box 2252, Ashburn, VA 20146-9152.
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Updated: 05/08/04
