How long does it take for a CD to get to the place where she can go forth with confidence and consistently pass? Until she is comfortable with herself, and she has developed confidence in her ability to make an effective presentation through research and putting into practice what she has learned. Only then will she lose the fear of being discovered because she will come to realize that she blends in and is not the center of everyone's attention merely because she is crossdressed.
The essential quality without which all other effort is futile is the ability to overcome her fears and project an image of confidence and well being. If she can project an image of being at ease with herself, everyone is more likely to be at ease with her. But if she appears ill at ease, everyone around her will be ill at ease, and they are going to be looking more closely at her as they try to determine the nature of her problem. As a result of this heightened curiosity, they are more likely to pick up any flaws in her presentation.
When I first started going out dressed, I was certain that everyone knew that I was a male in women's clothing. However, I soon became aware that most people on the street had more important things to do than to pay much attention to me. I also learned that when I acted insecure I invited closer scrutiny. On the other hand, even when I got questioning glances it really didn't make much difference because no one ever knew for certain. And it would not have made much difference anyway because I always went out in areas where no one knew me.
As my presentation got better, my confidence increased, and as my confidence increased my presentation got better. My approach has always been to research any problem that I was trying to solve. I continue to read articles about fashions, makeup, voice, gestures, walking, etc., to observe genetic females and to put what I learn into practice.
Whenever a CD tells you that she can't pass, you can be certain that she can't. As long as she holds to that belief there is no way that she is ever going to pass, and there is not much anyone can do to help her. On the other hand, even if she doesn't pass very well but believes that she can pass, and then goes about the process of developing her presentation, she should soon at least get to the place where she blends in.
This newsletter is a labor of love for of our contributing editrixes.
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Rachel Boyd, or R.R. Boyd, P.O. Box 2252, Ashburn, VA 20146-9152.
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Updated: 05/08/04
